I Think He's Probably Really Just Not Very Into You

I went to see this movie last night. Couldn't they have titled it He's Not Into You, because I cannot remember the real name.

I like to see movies that are set in my hometown, as this movie is. I discovered that there appears to be a parallel Baltimore that I knew nothing about for the past 15 years since I've moved here.

This parallel Baltimore has weather that is so nice that it is safe to plan an outdoor wedding without having EMT personnel on hand to deal with heat stroke or smog-induced asthma.

This parallel Baltimore is also filled with beautiful people who have trouble falling in love. Fortunately they have outrageously high-paying jobs which require that they show up at the office about 10 minutes per week, so they have plenty of time to deal with their love woes.

Also, in this parallel Baltimore, all the gay men have been transformed into cliches and are used as backdrops for the all-important heteros.

Hmm, I'll skip that Baltimore and settle for the Baltimore I live in.